Warning: Radioactive Content !!!

Statutory Warning : The content on this blog may appear inappropriate to some users and is highly toxic in nature. Prolonged exposure to the content may cause severe deficiency in the Medulla Oblongata of humans. The author has no responsibility for any national, organizational or personal losses that may occur to the reader after reading this blog.
The posts are chaotic in nature and reflect the moods of the author who is an eccentric person.

Saturday, February 06, 2010

The Beginning of The End

Dedicated to The Class of 2010.

Day before yesterday was special, for some it was very special. Yes I know Valentines day is still a week away and I agree that this day I am talking about is special for a very few people on the Earth. It was the last core course class for Class of 2010 at IIM Shillong. Its been nearly 20 months for all of us here at Shillong who came here to be a part of history (The glory of being the first batch of an IIM). Anyways I still remember the first class at IIM, that of statistics last July. I am still pretty messed up with statistics, I have always been and will always be like that. Anyways this class was of Business Ethics, and our prof. wanted us to do a small skit. That day, many of our performances simply reflected the way we lived in this small remote hill station in corner of the country.

It was an evening session with several groups getting all ready for the skit and suddenly someone pointed out that this would be our last class together as a class. Within the next few minutes the last 20 months at IIM were moving like a movie in front of our eyes. Within the next few weeks (2-4) classes will get over and exams would be done with. Many of us would leave by the end of the next fortnight. To their cities and towns first, then their jobs. probably most of us would not be meeting each other for a long long time. It is about time that we go back to the grind of life and learn to live with it.

I am usually the kind of people who don't get nostalgic, but still a strange feeling did engulf me and many more that day. I guess the end has started, the curtains have begun to fall. The act is about to get over with another act about to start very soon the coming summer. One batch moving in and one batch going out. I just hope that as we go back on that curvy GS road back to our place, there is a smile on our face and every passing breeze brings back those fond twenty months we spent in the "Scotland of The East".

5 Things I will miss when I go back.
1. Sitting besides the parking and thinking about everything around.
2. The perpetual chilly weather, which I love ( highly non-conducive for studies)
3. Some of my classmates here, with whom I had some great moments.
4. French Fries in lunch.
5. The bakar sessions that we had in C Wing top floor.
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Tuesday, February 02, 2010

The Impossible Dream


This song has been written by Joe Darion.

Since the last few days I have not been in my highest spirits. Then a friend suddenly reminded me of the song sung before us some 20 months back and so I am posting it here. This is dedicated to the first batch of IIM Shillong - The Class of 2010.

The credit for the image goes to Tripurari and Sarvesh (Creaons).

To dream the impossible dream
To fight the unbeatable foe
To bear with unbearable sorrow
To run where the brave dare not go

To right the unrightable wrong
To love pure and chaste from afar
To try when your arms are too weary
To reach the unreachable star

This is my quest
To follow that star
No matter how hopeless
No matter how far

To fight for the right
Without question or pause
To be willing to march into Hell
For a heavenly cause

And I know if I'll only be true
To this glorious quest
That my heart will lie peaceful and calm
When I'm laid to my rest

And the world will be better for this
That one man, scorned and covered with scars
Still strove with his last ounce of courage
To reach the unreachable star
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Thursday, January 28, 2010

20th Month in “The Scotland of the East”

Set amongst the sub Himalayan hills, secluded from the world, dotted with pine and fir trees, with eight months of annual rainfall with some of the most exotic flora and fauna is Shillong.
Someone will say wow….I must go there once….I thought the same too when I read about it in class 7 some 12 years back….Today as I am about to enter my 20th month in the city which can be easily described as “Life is old there, older than the trees, younger than the mountains, growing with the breeze” by J. Denver I am about to write the story of my journey….My journey at an IIM ( the three letters that elude thousands if not millions)….But I don’t have the time to go in details today….So I will just give you a comparison of my last 6 terms….

Learnings from 6 terms at IIM –

Term 1 - Work Hard forget marks
I came, I saw, I was slaughtered badly. This was the story of my first twelve weeks. Unaccustomed to late nights and night outs, I fell badly from the elusive all rounder into the bottom of the pyramid. I used to have a dream then, a dream where I am asked by an interviewer “Mr. Bakshi, What happened to your GPA in IIM?” and I would reply what a friend did long time back in front of our HoD at NIT “Err, sir…sir I have not been keeping well, the weather here does not suit me”. I fell from the consistent performer to the “untouchable class”. Anyways there was nothing I could do but work even harder. I still remember how I wished God to help me make a time dilating machine.

Term 2 - Enjoy the weather and forget marks
Now since the GPA was already screwed, I decided what the heck, lets concentrate on extracurricular activities. I found a great spot in the campus where I would sit either alone or with AG (Uppergangetic Bong ..not the one mentioned in the end of the post) to talk on all kind of stuff...It became a point of genesis in my life to quite an extent…..perhaps this is where my love for strategy emerged. I felt like Newton or Socrates….hehe…Someone said once, ”Nature is a great inspiration”. So another term went by, this time I did slightly better but eventually stuck at the lower middle class population at IIM.

Internship
Sweat, dust and chocolates: that was Cadbury at Calcutta. Though I learnt and enjoyed a lot yet I learnt that how weird is life. Going around the city and suburbs made me think a lot about life. Anyways my stint got over and I was back at IIM

Term 3 - Where the hell am I??
This was the most chaotic term of all, work, work and work. Anything and everything was about work. Endless slogging made me think “Is this I what I wanted to be?”, I so badly wanted to run away. Eventually I realized that my position in the strata has been destined to be at the working class. GPA seem to have settled around a comfy six point something and I completed one year in a remote hill town which would have been inaccessible to the world had Internet not been there.

Term 4 - Work Smart and you Score
A new year and a new term. It started with juniors coming in; a lot of many new faces in the campus, and a longer mean time of service at the mess during the crucial 45 minute lunch break. Anyways somehow academics got better, I finally felt good at something….something that my grandfather always wanted….”He should be a lawyer, send him to London”, he used to say when I was young…I guess he wanted to see his own father’s dream in his grandson who argued a lot…Though I never got a grade in Business Law, but I thoroughly enjoyed those twelve weeks. And it was the first time a few of my classmates became considerate enough to celebrate my birthday and it felt really great…So was the party that we had the following week….perhaps the last party we had at IIM…atleast till today…term got over and somehow I scored an eight pointer….I was elated, dancing everywhere….I am back to my oldways… So I moved up a bit in the Peking Order at IIM.

Term 5 - Its all about Core Competency
Since my second term, I felt that I have a soft corner for strategy…So as term five started I dived into strategy books and eventually my love paid off…I felt great…became a bit cocky…but I was loving it…Strategy…Strategy…Strategy…that’s what I thought about day and night…..Porter became my god and BCG and McKinsey were holy shrines…anyways had a lot of fun sitting in the backbenches arguing about oil corporations and CAPEX….I still remember SD saying “Tu to heera hai”, when I made up a new framework for our case and sent it at 5 AM…This term I got laid….in terms of marks of course.. it was a seven course meal….in fine silver platter….and I finally made my presence felt in the corridors of those who sat at Mount Olympus… Felt like the whizkids who swept the Silicon Valley with garage startups and VC funding in the 80s….

Term 6 - This isnt a hill station, its the world's second highest battle field!!!
So, the honeymoon was over by term six and I realized that the big bad world is much more than IIM…much more shrewd, much more cunning, much more cruel….There is no room for mistakes leave aside blunders…Its always a zero sum game in the world….your loss is someone else’s gain…Resources are always limited and there is always an asymmetry of information… I am still coping up with this big bad world….but I soon realized the attribute that I forgot…something that defined me as what I am and what I will always be….”Never Give Up”….So I will never give up….
My old friends from NIT who are reading this may remember what I used to say “Come What May”…
Well the fight is yet not over, nor is the story….Hope to write more someday in much more detail…..


Oops I almost forgot: Thank you to AG (No, no not Al Gore, but Aditya Gore (Our batch Topper) who inspired me to write this...)
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Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Bazziingaa Moment !!!


Today there was a small moment which is added to the funniest moments of my life...
I had an business ethics mid term today and as usual I was trying to figure out why the hell did god make such papers mandatory at Business Schools.....Anyways AG was sitting besides thinking deep like some HR consultant about wierd abstract theories to put in his answer sheets. I was just scribbling along random business terms like any fraud consultant sucking up client's money. Suddenly I had an idea regarding a paragraph given in the case but the keyword was not striking me....It should have been a beam balance.....I resorted to a small UFM practice (ssshhhh) and asked AG in my Delhi accent "Oye!! tarazu ko English main kya bolte hai ???" twice but I guess he was too lost in his thoughts.....

Finally I decided to go with the word "Fulcrum" as "Balance" did'nt strike me then....
Anyways I got out of the exam later when SKB, AG and a few others were accompanying me to the mess in the hostel. I asked AG "Why didnt you reply when I asked you??". "What did you ask ?", he said. "What do you call tarazu in English?"
"T. Raju", replied SKB behind my back.

Bazziingaa !!!!
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Tuesday, January 26, 2010

One Last Pledge !!!

Life is weirder than anyone can imagine......and I am just getting the screening of the worst reality show ever.....my sword had started gathering dust......my quiver is nearly empty.......my moves were predictable.....Now its time to gather everything and fight back at life.... I will not lose this battle..... I may die fighting but I will not lose this war....

In this world, everything has a price
When you are weak, then life plays dice
The price you pay sometimes goes overboard
I realized it today and finally picked up my sword

If they think I will die down quietly or surrender in pain
They have forgotten that I am not the one they can chain
Shackles of life cannot tie me down
I will fight back and take my crown

My life may have won a few battles, but the war is not over
I may be down today but I am far from being over
Unless you fall, you do not realize your true purpose
I will rise back and strike with maximum thrust

I have taken a solemn pledge on this dark night
I will not kneel down in the battle or in this fight
No matter what price may I have to pay from now on
I will fight till I win and I will fight till the new dawn
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Monday, January 25, 2010

Walk of Life !!!

Well unlike the title this post is dedicated to a friend of mine......a bong who knows hindi too well...hehehe Happy Birthday Debujan25 !!!!

Life is too strange to be true
One moment you know all , one moment you dont have a clue
Life is too strange to be true
You meet many but make friends with few

Life is too short to cry and regret
So enjoy while it lasts and forgive to forget
Life is too short to cry and regret
So live each day as the sun is about to set

Life may be far from perfect
But its always your actions which decide what you get
Life may be far from perfect
But its you who decide when to place the winning bet

Live life as if your life is that of a superstar
Each day is precious and worth a million gold bars

I know this is bad poetry but I am out of touch these days...
Happy Birthday Once Again!!!!
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Sunday, January 24, 2010

Memories of Life

"You can call your life successful, if you are able to recall 5 such moments for which you can relive it all over again!" - Courtesy Mohit Khemka

I just cant stop reading this line again and again......
So thought why not put in my relivable memories today ...

1. The days I spent in Calcutta during December 2006 - January 2007 at Saha Institute... working with Vaibhav.....roaming around the city with petty cash in pocket and big dreams in our eyes.....Always miss the days on the bus no 45A to SINP....

2. The days I spent at TIFR VSRP 2007 - living upto Anshul sir's old adage of working hard and partying harder......miss all my days in Bombay.....Walks to the gateway....time spent at the Cafe Mondegar and all my friends (angels, srv, debo and others)...

3. The 7th semester of BTech at NIT....the 1 terabyte group (nowadays 3 idiots are more popular but they were nothing when you compared us with them) .....The nights with tempratures near dew point....three friends (me daani and tattu) going around the grand trunk road every friday night to feast on parathas and ice cold mountain dew.....

4. The trip to Vaishno Devi with Ajaypal, Suchi and Vaibhav (my garam masala bro)....the two night non stop trip with loads of fun....our ordeal of eating at all CCDs on the way......

5. The days spent in making of Sanjeevani especially the last night before submission when all of us in maagIK ( namely mohit, me arpan and gaurav were working our asses off to break the time barrier) and the moments when Gaurav said - "Main sabke liye coffee leke aata hun"

There are more than 5 but lets keep something for the days ahead......
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Saturday, January 23, 2010

Fighting a Losing Battle


With each passing day, with each passing moment, I feel more and more pain in my heart.....Do not know why, and have no idea for how long will it stay......
Today I tried writing something but rhymes failed to come out ....never felt so abysmal in my entire life....one phase comes pretty close....it was some 19 months back when I faced a much similar situation....People started showing their true colors....and it was I guess one more reality show that life showed me then....

I was always an arrogant man....ever since I was born....stubborn, cocky, who the hell cares kind.....made many more enemies than I made friends....and when I was low, the so called "friends" started showing their true colors......I never lost faith in those 61 days of my life....It was a lesson that I learned the hard way..... Walking in the summer sun perspiring with bag on my back traveling in second class saving every penny to survive.... Traveled more than 5 cities....in the search of my own nirvana....I knew about the destination....but there was no straight path...

In those days....I rarely smiled....walked to save bus fare....skipped lunch...carrying my arrogance in a folder that few ever saw....but I had my own stubborn ways to live life....no matter how tough they were....Then there was a streak of good luck that struck me....the 61 days ended....life was easy again....
But I always remembered what I underwent in the worst days of my life....
The only money I had was 9700 Rs with which I survived while traveling across the country....

Today I stand on the rerun of the same reality show.....The show host is life and the producer is god (with whom I have never been on good terms).....I guess this is again the time to pack my bag and walk....

My only wish is to walk this path of my life with my head held high....(you may think I am arrogant but that is my only wish)....
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Thursday, November 26, 2009

Is this a mystery or a dream !!!

Is this a mystery or a dream
Nothing seems to be in its place, nothing is what it seems
Am I amidst clouds or am I lost in my thoughts
Is she a mystery or is she a dream

I seem lost when I wonder what is going on
Nights pass by my restless soul, and sun shines on me at dawn
I am not able to understand what have I lost and what have I gained in my life
A life which is marked with significant turmoil and strife

Is this a passing phase of my imagination
Will it ever become a reality or will it be only a perception
I fail to comprehend why does this happen to me?
When I closed my eyes from the world and did not wish to see

It is not easy to feel what I am feeling right now
So many emotions overpower my mind, I don’t know how
I pray to god, either take my pain away
Or just don’t put me into the fray
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Wednesday, November 18, 2009

The Last Surviving Warrior

I was all alone and it was pitch dark
Today was over, but I was yet to make my mark
In the wars of the world, I was the last survivor
It was now up to me to save my pride and prove my valor

Like a falcon high in the sky
I was waiting for my time to fly
As I walked the gore and mud of the battle field
I saw many of my fellow men crying in pain and die

It was my Excalibur on my back shining in the moonlight
Though I killed many, I have still not shown my real might
I was unable to realize the keenness in my soul
To win the war and to end this fight

Now I stood alone and all the men besides me were lying around
It was me against the army of the worlds tomorrow in these grounds
I was tired and drained, yet I stood tall
No matter how hard they try I promised myself that I will not fall

I remembered the oracle’s prediction; you will die a terrible death
I refuted the claims and said they would be never met
But inside of my heart I knew I was to die
And I stood alone with no one else to cry

In the nights of the full moon wolves howled their hearts out
Vultures crept on corpses, tearing apart flesh into their mouth
A strange chill went up my spine
As the underworld’s cried and said its my time

Trust no one my boy and you will succeed
The songs of sirens and demons’ friendships will entice you but pay no heed
Never leave your back unshielded my master once told
Never sell your soul no matter how many world’s of Gold

Remembering what my heart spelt out that night
I prepared my soul for the fight
A dying demon cried “you can never win this war”
I said victory may be distant but will never be far

I may never win the war of destiny and die in pain
But my efforts and blows will never go in vain
I fight alone and will not die without a good fight
They may over power me with their mystical might

But as long as the last drops of blood flow in my veins
I will shear the darkness of the world and bring in divine light
I will continue to stand as long as I can
And never give up without a good fight
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